To write. To write. To write. Why do I write. What is it with all of these pictures in my head that spin around like hovering tops. Nothing ever seems to touch the ground inside of my brain. Nothing ever is clear. It is always blurry.

Is it really a job or an occupation to write something down on paper or, in this day and age, to post it digitally for others to read. I mean, what is it that drives me to write. Well, if I were to answer that question, I would like to say that it would most likely be a fact that I am driven because I have no explanation other than that. I am driven. I need. I desire to write. I think that as time goes onward, my desire becomes all that more pushy.

I have many friends who worry that they are pushy or demanding upon me. I don't see why this is such a worry for them. Maybe, I should express my hidden secret that I am a late night writer. I should really tell them. Okay, well, these rants are not what I write all the time. I just enjoy writing something where the preparation time is not all that demanding. If I miss a day here and there, then so be it.

Well, I have established that I write because I must. Most committed writers will tell everyone the exact same thing. But what about those who don't write. Are they doomed never to write since they feel nothing that makes them want to write? Or can one be trained...interesting.

Why, I ask. Why me? Why have I got things in my head that I find not overly exciting to enjoy and too unclear to express? Over active imagination? Probably. Well, enough yabber tonight. Must sleep.

I was talking with someone today about the fact that I should learn how to Salsa dance. At first, I thought a pass had been made but it was a short lived ego boost as I realized that the suggestion was real.

Salsa Dancing. So, what is it? I think I have seen this once. How to salsa in twelve easy to remember steps. First, you take a whole lot of tomatoes and then you gyrate over them with your swinging hips and you smash up the fruits (yes, tomatoes are a fruit!) and then adding green peppers and what not to the mix.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I am not funny. But it is late at night and I am tired...so, I think I will cut it short tonight.

What the hell does it mean when someone tells that you are "dynamic" and "inspiring"? It is one of those things that makes one feel important. It makes one feel like they are a king! It allows their psyche to delve down into parts of themselves that don't come out too often.

So, what does it really mean. It means that I was or am able to make someone's day a little more exciting than previous mornings. To make one smile just a little bit each day is a gift that all people possess but rarely act upon. How can we access this power? Is it really a power or is it just common human interaction?

How does one inspire others? Is it leadership qualities or is it an uncanny chance that our minds were able to form a few words in a particular sentence that then was somehow translated into something -- more or less -- as humour or a pseudo divine influence?

Such an interesting topic that I will have to think about some more and come up with some concrete reasons. Hah! Concrete reasons concerning the functions of the abstract brain. What a concept! I will think more on that, as I usually do.

Augh! Do you ever get those times in your day when you want to talk about something and get it on paper but you don't and then you think about how you will remember it and then, six hours later, you realize that you have forgotten something which, in turn, tells you that there was something you wanted to remember but were unable remember just what exactly that little thing was?

I am having one of those days and I should be writing down my ideas and getting them on paper before I forget. I normally come up with ten or fifteen things to write about but then it comes down to the fact of whether or not I have my notepad.

You see, a few months ago, I decided that it would be an important idea to carry around a small notepad thus providing me with the memory recall that I should have automatically -- but something that I have concluded that I do not have. Or something along those lines.

"I wrote it down in my diary so I wouldn't have to remember!"

Oh, my! I am quoting movies again. This is a moment where I should stop. Until tomorrow....

Hahaha! I saw this silly thing on the Internet today with this Flash "video" with the All Your Base Are Belong To Us quote. For those who don't know what I am talking about, the quote comes from this silly game that came out many years ago and it had been translated from Japanese or some other language that I am sure I do not speak, or could ever hope to speak.

Anyway, it was funny. I only had the pleasure of playing the game once or twice but I seem to remember that it sucked. Lots of great artwork but nothing great.

You know, I have been thinking. What is it that makes us "leave the nest" or move on from one thing to another. Is it lust for adventure or the desire to create something for ourselves. I think it is the need and creative force that drives us to create ourselves. It is true that we seek adventure but it is more than that. It is an inbred function that we need to establish ourselves.

But what criteria do we follow? Society? Our friends and family? We would all like to think that the criteria is outside of ourselves. But, the simple fact remains -- it is not outside, but inside that is what drives us.

I stopped watching television because I wanted to filter out all of the garbage that I was taking in each day. There was something that I felt was missing and that was eating my soul bit by bit. But, the decision was mine. I was able to stop watching and to stop absorbing all of what I viewed inside the box.

Some of my family and friends have told me they think it is weird that I don't watch television. It isn't weird. It is freedom in a small way. My thoughts come more freely and are not poisoned by a constant horde. Images that block what I think it all means.

Ah, whatever it means. We drive ourselves but not always in the right direction.

It was about time that I cashed in my chips. There was a time in my life where I thought I had it all figured out. I had the girlfriend. I had the car. I had the life. And then... I realized I had nothing. Nothing was making me happy. I mean, sure, I was happy but not in the Emerald City couple of "tra la la" kind of happy, but I was content. I was dead in the water.

So, what changed you ask. What is it that made me wake up and smoke the peace pipe and how is this significant? One word: commitment. No more keeping one leg in and one leg out.

Why do guys do that? I don't know. I hate all guys lately. I don't like the way us boys act. Weird. I think I should get a sex change...well, at least, just a little one. Time to go to bed...