Lightning Crashes
Well, I was driving home from my class tonight and I was trying to think of something useless to post. When, of course, I thought of something. It was a time that I thought I would lose control of myself. A time where I knew I was standing on the edge between darkness and light.
I was in Europe in early 1998 on a choir trip and we were close to the end and were celebrating our last night together before returning to Canada.
One of the members of the choir had some experience in hypnotism and was wanting to try it on a bunch of us. Really cool, I thought, not really believing in the true power it was.
The session started with myself and a few others being the guinea pigs and entertainment for the rest of the choir. We were told to sit and stare at something that was up in the air, a tree or something. While we stared at this object, we listened to his voice. It was surprisingly peaceful and then I became tired.
Unfortunately, there was a moment where I became scared.
I realized that I was not entirely in control of my soul. I was not in control of me.
So, I fought it. I fought myself and my desire to let go. I fought hard but I could not bring myself stand up and walk away. I was fascinated with the idea of being hypnotized. I wanted that experience...but my mental state threw up all these warning flags.
I could not take my eyes off this branch I was staring at.
Hundreds of images flashed through my mind and I could not make any sense of them. They passed by like speeding cars through my head. Hundreds, if not thousands of images, blurred quickly. It felt like my life passed before me in a few seconds.
I couldn't seem to stop what was happening.
And then, without warning or any kind of awareness, a tear slid down my cheek. I had begun to cry. I can't explain it fully to this day, but I gave up the battle and closed my eyes when I cried.
I learned something important about myself that day. Something that I should have already known. I am not able to let go of myself. I am aware of myself and others. At least, I hope...
I was in Europe in early 1998 on a choir trip and we were close to the end and were celebrating our last night together before returning to Canada.
One of the members of the choir had some experience in hypnotism and was wanting to try it on a bunch of us. Really cool, I thought, not really believing in the true power it was.
The session started with myself and a few others being the guinea pigs and entertainment for the rest of the choir. We were told to sit and stare at something that was up in the air, a tree or something. While we stared at this object, we listened to his voice. It was surprisingly peaceful and then I became tired.
Unfortunately, there was a moment where I became scared.
I realized that I was not entirely in control of my soul. I was not in control of me.
So, I fought it. I fought myself and my desire to let go. I fought hard but I could not bring myself stand up and walk away. I was fascinated with the idea of being hypnotized. I wanted that experience...but my mental state threw up all these warning flags.
I could not take my eyes off this branch I was staring at.
Hundreds of images flashed through my mind and I could not make any sense of them. They passed by like speeding cars through my head. Hundreds, if not thousands of images, blurred quickly. It felt like my life passed before me in a few seconds.
I couldn't seem to stop what was happening.
And then, without warning or any kind of awareness, a tear slid down my cheek. I had begun to cry. I can't explain it fully to this day, but I gave up the battle and closed my eyes when I cried.
I learned something important about myself that day. Something that I should have already known. I am not able to let go of myself. I am aware of myself and others. At least, I hope...
