bank

I took a little time today and cleaned out the comments queue.  I was surprised to find so many CIBC related comments.  I posted them all, so, if you are at all interested, head on over there and join in.  I haven't spent much time thinking about CIBC since I don't deal with them all that often (we have a business credit card left with CIBC) but, the other day, I logged into the CIBC website and found that one of my accounts wasn't closed as I had requested.  Initially, I thought the account was just showing up because of some computer glitch.  I called the toll free line and asked if the account had been closed and they confirmed it wasn't.  Normally, I wouldn't have thought much of it because it was just a small error.  But the gong show that I had to endure to close that account (at least, I thought it had been closed) was too funny not to mention.  I didn't blog about it intially because I thought I had said enough about CIBC.  But, here we go.

Back in August, I called up and asked the branch how I could close one of my final accounts with them.  They said that I should come down to the branch and sign some documents in order to finalize the closure.  It sounded very straight forward and I headed on down to the branch a few days later.  I walked in and, as instructed by the person on the phone, grabbed the first available financial advisor.  The advisor said they would be happy to close the account.  We sat down and I provided him the appropriate documentation and identification.  He started typing away and then stared at the screen for a few minutes.  I sat quietly and waited for him to tell me what I was supposed to do.  Another minute or two went by and he said that he needed to get a supervisor to confirm the closure.  He disappeared and fetched another person to come and stare at his screen.  The original advisor and this new person stared at the screen, typed a few things into the computer and then looked at me to say that they needed to check with yet another person.

I sat and began to laugh quietly.  My better half told me to be quiet.  I remained silent for a little bit longer. 

A third person came in and did almost exactly what the second person did.  She typed a few things, muttered a few things to the others, and then said that they would have to bring in someone else.

I started to laugh again but I wouldn't be silenced this time.  With all of my experiences with this bank, I had had enough and was not going to be afraid to let them know that I was unimpressed.  The scene unfolded again one more time and a fifth person was brought in.  After almost forty five minutes, they all left the room.

I was laughing hard now and was making fun of them in a good humoured way.  They smiled and continued on with their work but it was obvious that they were frustrated with whatever problem they had run headlong into.  To me, closing an account should be easy.  But, at CIBC, this appeared not to be the case.  At just over the one hour mark, the fifth person came in to the office and said to me that they were embarrased.  It turns out that CIBC can't close accounts on Saturday because Saturday is "not a business day". 

I replied: "Then why is this branch open?" 

She said: "Saturday isn't a business day." 

I again said: "Then why are you open today?  If you are not in business today, why am I standing here?"

She laughed.  I told her that there must be some way to close the account because I didn't want to have to come back.  She then disappeared and returned with the original advisor and we arranged that some other guy (this guy being number six on the roster) call me on the Monday and tell me the account was closed.  I said that this arrangement was acceptable.

The following Monday, I called up the guy and chatted on the phone for a couple of minutes to confirm that my account was closed.  He said it had been done.  Boom.  A completely stupid way to go about closing an account but, whatever, I had come to expect very little from CIBC at this point and it was merely a source of entertainment for me now.  If I wanted a laugh, I should just go to CIBC ask them a very basic question (like how to open an account) and see how long and how many employees it took.  (Which, incidently, I did ask this question the other day when I had to go back and yell at the manager of the branch about the lack of a closed account and it took over ten minutes before the teller returned with a brochure and I asked for some details about an account and the teller didn't know anything and said for me to just read the brochure.)

Anyway, back to my original commentary.  When I found out that over six months later, my account was still not closed, I went back to the bank and asked the manager why it took six employees of that branch to NOT close an account.  I told him that I was pissed and that I felt it was completely idiotic for me to have come to the bank, dealt with five employees directly and then a sixth on the phone to confirm that my account was closed.  Then to find out that six months later, it wasn't even closed!  And I had to come into the branch again to yell at them when I didn't want to deal with them in the first place.  How stupid is that!

I just couldn't not talk about this now that I have ignored it for so long.  I mean, come on... six employees to screw up the closing of an account because it was Saturday?  And none of them knew this simple tidbit?!

CIBC, not only do you suck, but you can also suck my big sack of sweaty balls.  Enough said.

I have been a CIBC customer for a number of years (since 1993) and I experienced the most horrific customer service  representative.  I have never been so de-humanized.  The lady was from a collection department at CIBC calling me because they had yet to receive this month’s payment.  Which, by the way, I had sent only a week prior.

When I answered the telephone, I knew why they had called.  I started a little chit chat, as I know these kinds of calls can get quite tense, and wanted this person to know that I knew I had missed the payment and I had already sent one.  She would have none of it.  It was straight to business.  Fine, no problem, so, I told her I knew that I had missed a payment.  But, before I could really explain anything further this woman commented that I was close to having the credit card in question canceled.

“Sorry, canceled?  Missing a payment or two is a cancel-prone event?”

“Yes it is.”

“Shouldn’t I be notified of such an event before it happens?”

“Well, you aren’t as important as our bigger clients who get more flexibility.”

Here is where I shut down.  No chit chat.  No nothing.  When a company says that I am not as important as other customers – this is a show stopper in my book of life rules.  Sure, yes, I am evil because I have sent in payments late (apparently, four in my history) but CIBC is earning interest.  One would think that they are happy to charge me more money. 

I won’t pretend to understand the credit system of the world but when I get a call, I would like to be treated like a human being.  Something this woman didn’t even come close to doing. That was the moment I went from friendly to stone cold angry. 

I said to this person: “Sorry, did you just say that I am not as important as bigger clients?”

I didn’t hear the answer because I didn’t want to hear it.  I couldn’t believe it.  The worst thing I have ever done at CIBC is missed a payment here or there.  Mainly because I forget.  But, wow, the dehumanizing attitude of that woman was astounding.  With all of the over time complaints, you’d think these workers would be a little more jovial – especially, at this time of year. 

I did call back after hanging up on her and complained to the next agent I spoke with who did tell me that the lady should never have said that to me at all and he apologized on behalf of CIBC.  This made me happier.  How that woman felt that it was acceptable to tell me that I was unimportant just blew me away.

Tags: cibc, customer+service, cibc+sucks