What do you do when you're trying to get back into the spirit of Christmas?

Lights.

I hung Christmas lights.

This is what I did.

Then I played a board game.

I then went out for coffee.

I was then quite tired from all the stress and am thinking about bed.

Sorry if I missed any of you. I will be back next week.

I found my grandfather's obituary and thought I would share it with you.

SLEGG, Eric Robert
Born on May 13, 1920.

Eric Slegg passed away peacefully at home on December 3, 2011 at the age of 91. Eric grew up in Perth, Ontario with his two brothers and two sisters and in 1939 he joined the Royal Canadian Navy and served throughout the war in the North Atlantic.

While Eric was stationed briefly in Victoria, BC he met the love of his life, Ruby Webster and they married in 1942. After the war the couple moved to Sidney, BC where Eric started a small hardware store and in 1947 he founded Slegg Lumber.

Eric worked extremely hard throughout his lengthy career and as a planner and visionary, was instrumental in the growth of the family business. His passion for business was matched equally by his kindness and generosity which he demonstrated beautifully through his philanthropy and the loving care he provided for Ruby by whom he is predeceased.

Eric touched the lives of many throughout the years and everyone who knew him was taken by his irresistible wit and charm. He will be greatly missed by his family, friends and former employees. Often acclaimed as a man ahead of his time, Eric was a guiding light and mentor to us all.

A memorial service in celebration of Eric's life will be held at 11:00 AM on December 16, 2011 at Holy Trinity Church, Mills Rd and West Saanich Rd in North Saanich.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the BC Cancer Agency.

My grandfather died today.

I went to see The Muppets because it seemed like something that would make me smile. I hope that you all can hug someone you love. They could be gone tomorrow, an hour from now, or in a few minutes from this moment.

I am sad for my family.

I am sad for my mommy.

I am sad for my sister for this was the second year in a row someone important passed on her birthday.

I am sad about the whole thing.

But life goes on. I wish there was something more profound I could add but, unlike my friend Rosie, I can't use my words that well today.

I will leave you with this:

Pippin: "I didn't think it would end this way..."

Gandalf: "End?  No, the journey doesn't end here.  Death is just another path...One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass... and then you see it."

Pippin: "What? Gandalf? See what?"

Gandalf: "White shores...and beyond... the far green country under a swift sunrise."

Pippin: "Well, that isn't so bad."

Gandalf: "No...No it isn't

I am sure you have heard already but the United States of America has shot and killed Osama Bin Laden. This is one of those moments in history you will remember with stunning clarity fifty years from today.

We have been talking about this for the last hour or so and one of the questions asked is what does this mean to Canada? Ultimately, not very much. We Canadian's will talk about it for a bit, go to bed, and then talk a bit more tomorrow but then head off to the voting booths, fill in a few check boxes, and collectively sigh.

So, I took a quick moment to see what it does mean to Canada. Here is what I found.

1. Arczynski, Mike
2. Bailey, Garnet
3. Barkway, David    
4. Basnicki, Ken
5. Collison, Joe
6. Connolly, Cindy
7. Dack, Arron
8. Egan, Christine
9. Egan, Michael
10. Elmarry, Albert
11. Ewart, Meredith
12. Feidelberg, Peter
13. Filipov, Alexander
14. Gerhardt, Ralph
15. Lee, Stuart
16. Ludvigsen, Mark
17. Mascarenhas, Bernard
18. McArthur, Colin
19. Pelletier, Mike
20. Robson, Donald
21. Santos, Rufino
22. Tomasevic, Vladimir
23. Vincelli, Chantal
24. Williams, Debbie

What else does it mean to you?

I am prepping a few things today and getting down to some creative writing. Before I do I am having to clean up and organize a few of my odds and ends. One of the things I ran across while sorting was something I wrote about Mr. Hooper. I was a little shocked that I had written any words about Mr. Hooper from Sesame Street. I thought it was rather odd. But, after scanning the text, I thought I may kick it around again and see if I should finish it (and also put it into electronic form).

So, as you may have guessed, it got me thinking about death but, more importantly, about how Seasame Street dealt with the death of the actor, Mr. Will Lee. I looked it up and it is below. It is heart wrenching.

Yes, I know, I keep spouting off about death around here but I did say that I was moving on in a recent post and my recent discovery of a past writing is not about continuing. I merely think it is appropriate since I am cleaning up and sorting old things and putting them away. I did a little more digging about the Children's Television Workshop and found this excerpt from Sesame Street from 1997. 

It makes me smile to know that Big Bird never forgot Mr. Hooper and he was able to look upon the picture he drew and never have him far away.

Back to cleaning...

I have been writing about death quite a bit lately. I have even been writing about death in posts that I didn't think were about death. Upon re-reading them and a good friend pointing it out, it appears my mind has been quite busy thinking about it - without my permission! I am finding it quite distracting and am ready to move on and think about other things now. I just returned from a "celebration of life" and it was very touching and not "death-centric". It was very much about what happens during life and how to remember those moments.

At one point, a video slideshow was played and the song Time of Your Life was played. I have heard this song a number of times before but in the context of the day, it had new meaning. I love moments like that.

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

(music break)

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

I will also send a shout out to PenMachine.com who held a Living Wake the other day. I really wished I could have attended but my schedule didn't let me. I hope it went well and it was as positive an experience as I had today.

There has been far too much death in my life over the last couple of years. I have lost both family and friends to disease and tragedy and I tend not to mention it on my own web site. I have mentioned celebrities passing away but that is about it. I am unsure why I do this. It is quite possible that I don't because I like to keep the blog "light". After a bit of soul searching over the last week, I think I am ready to break my rule: don't get overly personal. It is a stupid rule but it is one that I have maintained throughout the life time of this web site. Perhaps it comes from the "blogger/employer" phase of the blogogsphere but, hell, I have been my own employer for the last six years. I am sure that if I was a little personal on my own web site that I would be able to forgive myself.

I think it began back in 2002 or 2003. A relative of mine that runs a web site called Birley.org (a web site of my family tree) had contacted me to find out about his great-great uncle (at least, that is what I recall). According to what he had on record, his great uncle had passed away in Victoria, BC around 1914. The reason he wanted my assistance was to determine if a rumour true. A rumour had started floating around that his uncle had committed suicide and his aging mother was very concerned. Fortunately for us, it has been well documented and we discovered he had died in his late 20s from an infection that had developed post-surgery. It was a sad tale but it put the rumour to. I sought out his grave and located it in Ross Bay Cemetary and that was that.

Over the years since, the reality of death never really left my mind. I felt like I was realizing that there were "fewer days ahead than there are behind". I kept remembering Captain Picard's line from the film Generations (which, in its own way, was about moving on, loss, and aging) where he says:

"It is our mortality that defines us."

For some reason, that line became more to me than some dialogue in a Star Trek movie. Ever since those early years of the 21st century, I have been trying to live better, less stressed, and with a care to what it meant to be alive and to be a human. Sadly, it seems to have bitten me in the ass once or twice where I was taken advantage of in business or in life because I made assuptions that other people think the same way. I try to take notice of important things that should mean more than they do. These days it is about revolution in the Middle East but, hey, the iPad 2 is coming out in a week or so. I don't know what I am saying. I am trying to form a thought by writing it out in a blog post and, I apologize, if it seems like I am scattered. The truth is, I am. I don't think that anyone can really comprehend this existence we live in. What I am trying to do in my head is make it all fit. We live in a time with great technological revolution and social connections while the simplest things like death can make it all go away in an instant. For those who have died in Libya, for example, they no longer will contemplate these things.

Anyway, I am trying to formlate this thought so that it makes sense and I am really having tough time saying what I really want to say. I suppose all I am wanting to mention is that I miss those who have passed on. By my count, I have had six close deaths over the last two years. Sounds incredibly selfish to put it that way but it is how my brain is sorting this information.

To give this post some meaning, a lesson can be gleaned from this for any bloggers out there. Not all blog posts need to have a beginning, middle, and an end. It is perfectly honest and acceptable to start, get lost, and try to find your way back. There are times with topics like this when it is fine that nothing makes sense. For myself, I have some important and selfish reactions going on in my head about death and the situations in parts of the world I have never been to. These thoughts are colliding together and fighting for dominance, cluttering my words in the process. Maybe it will make sense to some but, really, all I really want to say is that I miss those who are gone and I wish they were still here. It fucking sucks to have lost them and I hate death when he comes to visit once too often.

I can't help but think that the ultimate adventure awaits us, though. I picture death being able to do a few cool things: haunt your friends, spy on any girl's locker room, travel the universe at unlimited speeds, and finally have enough time to read everything ever written.

There you go - a scattered blog post for a Wednesday. But, you know what, it is my blog post and if you don't like it, come back tomorrow, I will try to write something better. I have some family to entertain.